... Worth Being Thankful For

It seems appropriate that I would allow myself this time to reflect on the gratefulness I have in being a mother. Although my thankfulness is not always on the forefront of my mind, I would like it to be. And today, I need it to be.

We've all heard about the studies that have scientifically proven a positive physical response in our bodies when we are thankful. At some point or another, we recognize the miracle of birth and marvel at the good fortune to have such a previous little one enter our lives. And yet these things do not dismiss the fact that motherhood, at times, is also difficult.

You just can't get around it. The fact remains that through the beauty and the joy of being a mother, it will always be challenging. Saying this only 9 months in is a little premature, I know. Yet so far, it has proved to be true for me and many other mothers I know.

There are days when HubbyK asks me the simplest questions like; "Do you want to go on a walk?" or "What outfit did you want her to wear?" and I freeze as if in that particular moment my brain has rebooted to install an update. The options flood though my head and I feel crippled by my inability to process and lack of decisiveness. Making a simple decision can be hard.

There are times when changing BabyK's diaper I notice a terrible rash and the guilt rushes through me like a breaking dam. My heart aches at the thought of her being in pain or injured. No parent wants to see their baby broken or hurting, let alone feel responsible. Wanting the best for your child and it being ultimately out of your control is hard.

There are moments when I long to be "off-duty" if even just for 5 minutes. It doesn't seem to matter if I have the opportunity to be away from BabyK. When I am not with her, my mind is constantly wondering how she is and if she needs me. Being a primary caregiver on call 24/7 is hard.

These are only a few of the things that seem to press on me on a regular basis. I'm sure as we are blessed with more years together there will be more challenges that will test me. Even so, the things we have to strive for and endure have the greatest impact on our lives. Although I sometimes wish God didn't make things this way and "easy come, easy go" didn't ring as true, I trust that in His greater wisdom this way is best. Today, I am going to choose to fight back the "hardness" of motherhood with thankfulness (at least as often as I can remind myself to).

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1 Thessalonians 5:18

"...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."