... The Life of the Potty

And we're right back at it again...

There had been multiple attempts to potty train LittleK, but all my efforts failed and I was discouraged. She was showing all the signs of readiness, accompanied by all the signs of resistance.

Enough was enough. I was ready and determined. This little lady was capable and we both knew it. We set aside the Christmas holiday break so I would have assistance (and moral support) from HubbyK. Having each other meant we could "tap out" if we needed a break or to get something done. I was even gifted a potty training book from my local BuyNothing Group (again, love this movement) which helped me feel courageous.

If you're just here for the laughs, you can skip to the end here.

As a disclaimer I'd like to say, this book was more crass and rough around the edges than I would like. It was however, exactly what I needed. So if you're looking for a potty training book that will make you laugh and encourage you to "get er done", "Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to do it Right and to do it Once" by Jamie Glowacki might be for you too.

In summary, Glowacki is a tough-love kind of instructor. She encourages training with the mentality that using the potty is an expectation and just something we need to do, steering away from the ever popular rewards systems that seem to be flooding the potty training world. Glowacki asks you to change the question from "is my child ready to potty train" to "is my child CAPABLE OF LEARNING to use the potty". She sets up the training in "blocks" as opposed to days allowing you to think of each phase as a base for the ultimate goal, as opposed to a timeline that must be met.

Her experience has found that the window of greatest success lies somewhere between 18-30 months for most children. Naturally this made me a little nervous as our girl was already 35 months old. But after a whole lot of prayer, we jumped in just the same.

Block One - Naked Phase

• Usually lasts 1-3 days

• You get up with the child and essentially explain that there will be no more diapers today and that she will be learning to use the potty. They will either be totally naked, or just with a shirt.

• You then spend the day ONLY watching your toddler.

• The moment they begin to pee, you pick them up and place them on the potty.

• Reinforce that pee and poo go in the potty, without punishing, or raising your voice.

• NEVER ASK IF YOUR CHILD HAS TO GO; instead, make gentle prompting statements "When you need to go potty, it's right here." Never prompt more than once every 30 mins.

This was the hard part. By the 3rd day, both my husband and I were on the verge of insanity. We hadn't gone anywhere, or done anything other than watch a toddler pee over and over again. It truly felt hopeless. Yet, Glowacki's question came to mind; I knew my child was capable of learning so we pressed on.

In the later 1/2 of the third day, it clicked. LittleK stated aloud that she had to pee BEFORE releasing. We got her on the potty and hope was restored. The rest of the day went well, but we decided to push Block One for one more day to really solidify the progress. Looking back, this really was a special time in our lives. Both my husband and I felt like we were able to truly just take in each moment with our little lady. This was a welcomed silver lining.

Block Two - Comando

• Usually lasts 2-6 days

• Have child wear loose fitting pants with elastic waist band that they can easily push down (Glowacki suggests this verbiage as opposed to "pull down your pants" as in reality, the toddler is making more of a pushing action).

• The goal is for the child to be able to poo and pee on the potty on their own.

• You can make small trips outside of the home, but be prepared for accidents.

This stage went well. We were both so excited that we were actually progressing! Sure, there was an odd accident here or there. Most of these times, she had just been so wrapped up in her play or had only just missed the potty. The amount of successes outweighed the misses, so we were hopeful.

Block Three - Out and About

• Usually starts sometime between day 4 and 10.

• Test the waters with longer errands/events.

• Before leaving the house (and during transitions throughout the day) have the child use the potty. "Here's the potty, you need to go before we get into the car because you will not like it if you pee in your seat".

• When you arrive at your destination, show and tell the child where the potty will be.

• Some children can self-initiate their potty trips by 3 weeks. Others may need constant gentle prompting - but never more than once every 30 mins.

There are more "blocks" but they all kind of just fade into the point where your child's potty breaks are no longer on your mind.

Glowacki suggests night training at the same time as your day training. We took her suggestion as we are both "rip off the band-aid" kind of people. This proved to feel a whole lot more like duct tape than a Band-aid.

Night Training -

• Try to limit fluids gradually throughout the day until the nap. Then again until supper (lots of fluids as they wake up, tapering to hardly any before they are expected to sleep).

• Place the potty in the room beside the bed.

• At 10pm and 2pm go into the child's room, and place them on the potty. They should be awake enough to be able to take instruction, but not fully awake. You should get a sense of when your child is peeing in the night and can adjust to those times.

Glowacki suggested not waking the child 1 hour before their wake up time. Our girl was constantly peeing in her bed around 5/5:30am and normally wakes at 6am. We chose to go with her flow - so to speak.

We had some dry nights at the beginning. These had us signing and dancing in the kitchen like maniacs. The case quickly changed. I was starting to feel a little desperate, so even though I hated the idea of waking LittleK in the night (see previous post for our desperate need for regimented sleep habits) I decided to just go all in and commit to the process. We set a timer on my phone to get up at the designated times in attempt not to miss her window. This was especially hard as my 6 month old was still waking up for a feeding. I started to notice that she was always dry at the 10pm wake up, so we dropped that one and focused on the 5am.

I never once had her actually pee in the potty during a wake up time like the book had expressed. But we did it anyway making sure to have the last thing we said to her while tucking her in was "When you feel like you need to use the potty, wake up and go so you can stay dry". One morning before my alarm went off, I heard her little feet flapping on the floor, and then the sound of the potty dragging. More and more mornings she would make it to the potty before I needed to wake up. After several successes, we stopped the alarm.

We are now 16 days in (at the time of writing this) and starting to see accident free days and nights. She wears her dry clothes with pride, and has used the potty in the mall bathroom, as well as the bathroom at playgroup (still working on Sunday school). We have had lots of laughs as LittleK has shared with us a whole new world of understanding. My favourite moment is her referring to her own excrement as "Bob the Penguin". I could give more context but I won't.

It may not be perfect yet, but where we are now is miles ahead of where we were when we first started. I may be exhausted, but I am also thrilled to see my little baby growing into a young lady. She always surprises me with just how much she is capable of. It is a good reminder in other areas of her life as well . I need to give her the opportunity to grow, be challenged and be comforted when it doesn't go as planned. I think the biggest hurdle in all of this was actually me. I needed to fervently commit, letting go of my doubt, my lack of faith and my fears.

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Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."