... Stealthy Business

I know that one can not, and should not tip-toe around one's child forever but no one told me what vultures toddlers can be! Let me explain.

Whatever snack I am eating, BabyK wants the same snack. Not one of her own, but the actual snack that is in my hand. Whatever drink I am having, BabyK wants. Not the same type of drink, but the actual cup I am drinking from. They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, but I don't think they ever dealt with a toddler.

There are also a handful of words that should never be spoken out loud around BabyK. I'm not talking about the obvious cuss words, although I'd appreciate them not to be spoken either. I'm talking about words such as "Goldfish", "Supper", "Little Teddy" and the greatest trouble maker of all; "Muffin". If you say one of these words around our little lady, you best be prepared to deliver. What once was completely off her radar is now her number one goal in life to obtain.

This had made for an interesting new way to live. I find myself spelling words out a lot. I am also now more likely to sneak into the kitchen for a snack, or to hide my food under a blanket while sitting on the couch. Although these are times where I want to be stealthy, there are other moments as a mom where it would feel much better to be noticed.

Covid times have made being a stay at home mom even more isolating than before. Each day often looks the same and opportunities to have our great qualities and skills celebrated seem to be few and far between. And yet, this actually provides an excellent opportunity to reorient my life and prioritize my focus in the discipline of spiritual secrecy.

A man named Dallas Willard says it best by describing it as abstaining "from causing our good deeds and qualities to be known." It is not easy to give, serve or even be nice without having those actions be rewarded, praised or even appreciated. In fact, when that happens we often feel bitter, jaded, unwanted or misunderstood (sound familiar Motherhood?). But, God actually asks us to live and serve in this way. Why?

Short answer: because its good for us.

If we only do good things in a desperate chase for the approval of those around us, we will find our self-worth coming from the things we do and how others interpret those actions. This is not a chase that can sustain you. Eventually, people will misunderstand, take for granted and even harmlessly not notice due to the busyness of their own lives. God, however, never will. By giving yourself opportunities to be unseen by others, you are actually giving yourself the opportunity to be seen by God alone. It becomes a special moment to share together; an "inside joke"; an intimate memory. In the end, this will be a much greater reward than anything another person could give in this life.

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Matthew 6:3&4

"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."