... Seasonal

I'm not sure why I never processed these thoughts in preparation before having BabyK; my faith in Christ is my deepest identity and yet I never stopped to think how having a baby may effect the most important relationship in my life.

As a Christian, I have valued and appreciated the time and effort I have put into building my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. As a teenager and young adult I could spend hours a day singing and writing songs that poured out all that was in my heart and in turn feel like He was speaking back to me. I had time to read great stories of faith and dig down deep into spiritual disciplines (prayer, reading my bible, serving in church, etc.). It was a beautiful time of growth and excitement. Like any relationship, the more time I spent with God, the closer I felt to Him.

Then enter BabyK. My time was now devoted to keeping not only a fresh human being alive, but also to keeping up with my own basic life functions. If miraculously I found I had an hour to spare, I would sooner opt for a shower or a power nap. I knew God was still present with me through the intricacies of everyday life, but I was really starting to miss our "long walks on the beach" and "late night soul sharing".

Thankfully, a good friend reminded me of something so simple yet true; relationships change, life changes, but when we want to make something work, we get creative and find ways to move through the seasons. Suddenly, instead of having no time, I was gifted 40mins every time BabyK would breastfeed. Although our time together would look very different than it had before, I was still able to dedicate that time to prayer and song with God.

Once BabyK had a solid nap schedule, I was able to dedicate one of the naps to a study time. I have always been the studious type. My idea of a good bible read is a warm cup of tea, my pencil, my notebook, my commentaries, and an uninterrupted hour. Naturally, this season brought a new bliss that I had long missed in my faith. Like every season, it too changed.

I have to admit, I'm a little slow to get into the new rhythm. Now that BabyK only naps once, I tend to be budgeting that time a little differently. At first I felt guilty putting supper prep, chores and my own naps at the top of the to do list and not my individual study. If I wasn't feeling guilty, I was feeling the longing to do something I truly enjoyed. Although I have made a point to always have daily bible reading in my life, it was hard to accept it would be done in a less studious manner.

Much like the start of this journey, I'm feeling the need to be a little more creative in ways to spend time with my Best Friend. I have discovered that dedicating time while doing my chores to listen to music that reminds me of who God is and what He's done has played a large part. I'm also contemplating studying the bible in new ways; like through podcasts and videos that BabyK and I can do together. This season may look a little different, but it won't last forever either.

Are you a woman/man of faith? What disciplines/practices to nurture your relationship have changed for you in different seasons?

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1 Chronicles 16:11

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."