... Perspective

My mind started wandering - as it usually does while breast feeding - to how appreciative I am that I've had BabyK during this global pandemic. Not only does she fill my day with amusement and structure, she also gives perspective. If she wasn't here I would probably be filling my time with DIY projects, eating junk food and binge watching Netflix. I would likely have a freshly renovated bathroom and a smaller amount owing on our mortgage.

Although these things are all wonderful and not inherently wrong on their own, if I let my life be consumed with them I will only ever be focused on me. To be the kind of person I want to be and the kind I know I should be requires for me to serve instead of only be served.

One could try and live their life only for others but I have learned that no matter how much we may love someone and they in turn love us, being human means we are inevitably going to let each other down at one point or another. As much as I hate to think of it (and I hold BabyK so close when I do), there is going to be a time in my life when I will not be BabyK's world. I can serve her and in return receive nothing, or worse. She will never be able to completely fill my need for purpose and love. But I know who can.

Living my life in service to my Heavenly Father means that my hope is in someone who will never abandon me or let me down. Caring for others out of the love He gives me for them will never be returned void. It means that I can love BabyK and get nothing in return from her, yet still feel loved. And really, placing all my identity and purpose in her isn't fair to her either.

BabyK helps remind me that life is not meant to lived for myself. She is a constant presence of perspective that allows me to not be sucked into the temptations of being stagnant in my faith and live only for my own pleasure. Even if 50% of my day I fall in to the trap of only thinking about me, she will be there to remind me every time she gets up from her nap that I have greater goals to strive for.

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Romans 14:7

"For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone."