... Letting go

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I just wasn’t going to be the kind of mom who could keep a consistent record of her child. I have a beautiful “Baby First Year” calendar that would allow me to track all of my precious bundle’s “firsts” and big moments. It will likely never be opened. I had been given an impression kit for a keepsake of my baby’s tiny foot print that I didn't use until the end of BabyK's first week. It was already week 3 of her being alive and only now had I thought I should take a charming photo to announce her arrival. The house was still in a mess from the hours of labor that had transpired weeks ago. Most of all, I only had 3 newborn sized diapers left and my husband would not be home until the evening with reinforcements.

There was only one thing left to do. Let it go. Let go of the pressure to use the calendar I bought but now collects dust in her closet. Let go of the need to capture every special moment by photo. Let go my dread towards laundering cloth diapers once my last disposable was used.

As I lay in my bed feeling the weight of all that I "should be doing" to be a "good" mom, my husband surprised me by coming home on his lunch break. He had brought with him newborn disposable diapers and McDonald’s.

Its an amazing feeling to have a burden lifted while eating a hamburger and a McFlurry in bed. I don't think I have ever loved my husband more. He reminded me that I do not carry this responsibility alone. He reminded me that God's definition of a "good mom" has nothing to do with how I record memories of my child or what I use to diaper her bottom.

This small act of letting go and seeing God work out the details helped me accept the fact my motherhood journey is not going to look like anyone else’s. I am OK with treasuring the special moments with my eyes and not always through a lens. I’m OK that it took me longer to cloth diaper than I originally planned. I’m OK with the fact my house will get cleaned when the day allows.

I hope you are able to let go whatever is holding on to you and embrace the beautiful honour of motherhood.

Here is a link to an amazing sleep habits book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It was given to us a gift and really helped take the pressure off of dealing with sleep. I love that the way I can read it and feel inspired but not pressured into a particular method. I am constantly referring back to it.

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1 Peter 5:7

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"