... In Love

As I write and look past the screen of this old laptop, my heart begins to flood. There she is; my precious BabyK playing happily with her blocks. Her sweet melodic voice seems to float through the air like the fragrance of a fresh blossom. Amidst the adventure she is playing through in her mind, she manages to look up to me and our eyes meet. My smile is met with the cheekiest face one will ever see. Her pointy little cheeks press her eyelids so enthusiastically that only a slim glimpse of her sparkle sneaks through. Her nose crinkles like tissue paper and her pearly chicklet teeth rest on her little lips. Right when I think the picture could never be more perfect, the giggles begin.

This is a very special kind of love. In many ways I'm sure it can only be fully embraced when one has a child of their own. I still remember holding her for the first time in awe and wonder thinking I could never love someone more deeply. Yet, today I know that this love has only grown.

It is not just in the moments of pure joy that this connection strengthens. As tired and frustrated as I can be when she has a terrible night or a grumpy day, the cuddles and even discipline are special too.

How sobering it is to know that she is not mine to keep. She is on loan from God. She was His before I even knew her. As much as I love and adore her, He loves her infinitely more. As much as I can't imagine my life without her, His plans for her will go beyond her days under our roof. Although I will always be BabyK's mom, she will not always be my Baby.

At first, this thought stings a little. Who would ever want to take a backseat on such an incredible journey? And yet what a beautiful honour it is to play such an important role in this little one's life! God has blessed us with an opportunity to see a glimpse of His love for His children. The feeling I have watching her play is the same feeling He has for me when I blog. This glimpse into how we love and how we are loved is a window that even COVID can't close. For that I am thankful.

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1 John 3:1

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"