… Coming Up For Air

I had thought I had been coping with the COVID restrictions rather well for the last 7 months. That is, until recently when the weight of it all seemed to squish me like a brick. There were so many things about being a young mom that I was looking forward to last year at this time, and so many of those things have been put on hold indefinitely.

I was so excited to join the local Mom and Tot group at the community center down the road. I had hoped to get BabyK swimming at an early age and had settled the weekly swim schedule at the local sports plex. I looked forward to her meeting all the other little babies that would be in her Sunday School class and seeing her make new friends. As silly as it may sound, I've even looked forward to taking her grocery shopping with me.

As long as I can remember, I have watched women come into grocery stores, place their adorable babies in the front seat of the shopping cart and stroll along at their own pace. It was the greatest feeling to be greeted by a little waving hand while reaching for the broccoli or to hear an enthused "hi" coming from the aisle next to me. It always brightened my day to see the little ones out and about with their moms and in my heart I longed for the day when I could have a little buddy to take with me.

Well here that day is, and wouldn't you know it, there is a global pandemic. Instead of loving to grocery shop, I dread going. HubbyK often offers to go for me but we both know I need some sort of human interaction in the week. Instead of cute little voices and the pitter of little feet, I'm greeted by masks and hand sanitizer. Everyone seems to be a little on edge and I certainly don't help the general atmosphere. With each shopper going the opposite way, and not maintaining proper distance I feel the cringe rise from my shoulders to my ears.

I know I could just bite the bullet and take her with me, but I just don't feel right about doing that yet. Instead, we decided this past Sunday to reach out for the old normal a different way. At the suggestion of our friends, we went to church. A real-life church; complete with humans, communion and a definite start time (meaning no more pjs and couches). It was amazing. Sure, things were a little different. We sat distanced, hummed the worship songs and had individually wrapped communion elements. But to me, it felt like a long awaited Christmas morning.

My heart still swells as I re-envision HubbyK holding our little girl while swaying to the music. It was such a simple moment of peace and joy there might as well have been carols, candles and snowflakes. All things considered, BabyK sat through the service happily and even fell asleep in the car on our ride home (for those of you that know her, this is a very rare occurrence).

It's funny that I could care so much about something so simple as shopping with my baby. I still long to show her the tropical fruits in the produce aisle, or have her scrunch her little nose at the cashier, but I know there will be other things that this season brings that I could not have anticipated, and yet I would never wish exchange. Having a church service in person with other believers may not seem all that special, but it was a breath of fresh air during this stuffy pandemic.

---

1 Timothy 4:10

"That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe."