... Changing

I'm not talking about diaper changes. It is true that motherhood can feel like a non-stop party at the change table but that would be a post all of its own (who knows, maybe it will be). However, what I am referring to here is that motherhood is changing me. God is using motherhood to make me a better me.

Before I had BabyK, I considered myself a fairly selfless person. She however, has opened my eyes to see myself in a clearer light. I found myself struggling to be sacrificial; leaving my own things to put her first. How ridiculous of me! This poor helpless being has the stomach the size of a ping pong ball and I want her to sleep 40 more minutes through her hunger so I can squeeze in one more episode. Thankfully the more time I spend with BabyK, the more I find joy in putting her needs first and allowing my desires to change.

Learning to love more sacrificially has given me greater insight and appreciation for how God shows His love for us. What I once accepted with my mind - the Father sacrificing His only Son - I now marvel with my heart.

This isn't the only change I've noticed in me. It's amazing to see other previously present positive character traits blossom when given the constant opportunity to be exercised. This process is not always fun and sometimes I catch myself longing for the days when I was "free". Regardless, I know that when I take time in my day to be silent with God, my heart becomes more willing to change.

The small group I am a part of has really enjoyed and has been challenged by this book by Paul Tripp. If you're interested in rethinking how you see the role of parenting I would highly recommend checking it out!

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James 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."